First World Problems

7 May 2016

Woke up this morning and my phone had died. Used the laptop to Google map my way to my out-of-town destination, took pictures of it with my camera and then wrote down the directions by hand (by hand!) just in case. When all that failed not even 10 mins from home, I resorted to rummaging through the boot and opening the great big 'Greater Melbourne Maps' directory my blessed aunt had given me.

This, of course, all made me a little unsettled, very late, and with the thought of the 20km I had to run in the afternoon (not a regular occurence - am training for a half marathon) I nursed a sore stomach (a regular occurence, unfortunately). Geez, 1st world problems, I told myself.

Now I've spent enough time in 3rd world countries to know better; I shouldn't be moping about these things. But still, I live in the 1st world, and 1st world problems are - for the most part - still problems. I also know that the cure for 1st world problems is not to move to the 3rd world and be free of such pressures, anymore than the cure for 3rd world problems is to escape to the 1st.

No, the cure for all world problems must be something - someOne - outside of this world, the Maker of it even. Before Him alone do all problems fade. In Him alone do I find my joy and peace.

An understanding

You know, I really understand now why so many vets - even experienced ones - commit suicide. Its not neccesarily the pressure from without that makes them - us - crumble. But the pressure from within - these self-set standards which may or may not be attainable, this feeling - conviction - of inadequacy, the constant comparing of oneself with the vet-next-door. And its all relentless.

Now hold up, don't call 111 - I didnt say I was suicidal or anything. I just said I get it, why some people would be. Just like how a newlywed, after a while, might understand why couples go through divorce. Or one starving might see how easy it is to steal. Its a powerful understanding.

I hope like anything this feeling doesnt hang around til my retirement party. I do want to be a vet thats 'good enough', if not 'good' full stop. But I fear with my - and all of our - damned perfectionist personality/ies it just might. So whilst others choose otherwise,  I put on my scrubs and live with it.