Learning to Lose

27 June 2018

We lost our soccer match on Sunday. Which, unfortunately for us, is a familiar outcome (and hey, me being on team doesn't exactly help the situation). But this was a match we were meant to, had to, could have and nearly did win... except we didn't.

I know, winning isn't everything. Just being out on the field with my soccer buddies each Sunday is enough for me. I would have left long ago if it wasn't. But there's a certain amount of post-match frustration that needs to be processed every now and then.

My fuming was productive. I realised this: Growing up, I never really 'lost' anything*. No, I didn't have a sheltered childhood. A comfortable, competitive one, yes. But all my individual pursuits (blogged about here) didn't really lend themselves to 'losing'. There was definitely winning. In gymnastics they would award medals to third place. In chamber music contests there was a regional winner and the highly commended. At  junior pony club they'd award '6th ='s  until everyone in the class got a ribbon (I saw through that... but my ribbons still hang on my wall). And though at times coming second felt equal to coming last, we didn't really go around saying 'we lost'.

Then I sign up for soccer. And every weekend for the whole season, we're asked 'Did you win?'. (Those who know us better have toned it down to 'How did you go'?). Sports - like life - can be cruel. It doesn't matter if you were down 7-0 at half time or conceded 1-0 in the 89th minute. A loss is a loss.

Being rather experienced, then, I feel I can comment. Not to console myself, but to not let opportunity go to waste. You see, its easy to celebrate a win. But it takes a certain kind of person(s) to lose well. Victory may evade but there is much more to be gained:  humility, a fighting spirit, a tighter team, amongst others.

I don't know. I'm not a pro player (missed that boat) so can't speak for top level competition. But in our league at least, I feel its not so much about the result but

          Winning well
                 and
                    Learning to lose.

*Well, that's untrue. I lost lots of things: my surgeon teddy bear (left him at the fish and chip shop), my mum in the department store (she was too short to be seen above the clothing racks), my pack whilst travelling in Bolivia (read about the robbery here). My colleagues would tell you I some/oftentimes lose my train of thought, my mind or perhaps I've lost my marbles. 

Why? An Esther-essay on Child Sponsorship.

People don't often ask us 'why?' do they? Its usually 'when?' 'where?' or 'how?'. Today, on the topic of child sponsorship, I was asked 'why'. Why did I choose Compassion as an organisation? Why should others consider child sponsorship? I pondered these questions when I got home. And then, to satisfy my scientific-self, came up with this Esther-style-essay:

Child sponsorship through Compassion is personal, holistic and committed support.

Its personal because you are giving to a specific person, family, community. Your contributions don't dissolve into a large fund. Funds don't write back. But children do. Through letters, photos, updates and other wonders of modern technology, a relationship is built. When I think of my sponsor child Belén, I don't think of an automatic payment going out every month. I wonder how shes doing at school, how her mother and grandmother are and if she's picked any flowers in the field recently.

Its holistic because it not only provides financial assistance but supports academic, social and spiritual development. When I visited the centre where the sponsor kids like Belén go to after school, I saw their setup: Space for homework. Space for food (but wash your hands first). Little toothbrushes lined up to clean your teeth after.  Posters of Bible stories and memory verses.  There is church and a pastor connected with every centre.  I have sponsored children through other organisations (which are also amazing), but Compassion is overtly Christian, placing an emphasis on nurturing faith. If we feed the hungry but leave souls starving I just feel we are withholding a large chunk of good.

Child sponsorship is preferable to other forms of giving because it is committed and consistent. In our day and age, commitment and consistency are qualities that even the church often lacks, especially in our financial lives. But sometimes we just need to weigh up, sign up and then rely on God for when things get tight. From the organisation's point of view (don't forget they have feelings too), consistency is key. Planning, budgeting and the efficient use of funds is much easier if there is a steady flow of income, rather than yearly EOFY donations of varying amounts.

Come to think of it, all of the above kinda characterises Jesus' giving. When God gave, he didn't drop pennies into a 'salvation fund'. Jesus came in a skin bag to relate personally. His commitment to the cause could not be wavered by hunger, crowds  nor the devil himself. He sacrificed much more than a couple of coffees a week to save our souls. But he cares about our skin bags too, our families, our facebook friends and weekly paychecks. And aren't we thankful for how he extends grace to us consistently, again and again, when we don't deserve it.

If he is our model and motivation, if he really did welcome the little children to come to him, then I guess its no surprise that child sponsorship reflects the heart and character of Jesus.

Reason enough for me to keep funds flowing.


To find out more about Compassion, go to https://www.compassion.com.au/sponsor-a-child
To see my previous post after spending a day with Belén, see http://avetintheoyster.blogspot.com/2014/11/enabling-heroes.html