I hate the homeless, I really do.
Now, I don't hate them as people. I don't hate (though I certainly dont condone) how they live, I dont even hate how they make the city look.
Its just that I dont know what to do with them and it leaves me deeply unsettled.
Do I turn a blind eye? Do I pause to read their signs1? Which is worse - keep walking like they're not there? or stop, gawk and keep walking like I don't understand English? Do I chuck them some spare change (Does that really change the(ir) world?)? Do I buy them Mackers, sign up at a soup kitchen or lobby for social justice?
Its easier to turn a blind eye.
Harder to turn off thoughts.
Yesterday I was in a park bench doing my devotions (like any good Christian should) when a lady approached. I assumed she wanted to share my lovely long bench so I graciously moved over but instead she wanted some change to buy some food (she even gave me the option of buying her some food). I poliltely declined however did rummage through my bag of recently acquired asian groceries and told her all I had was dried vermicelli and preserved vegetables. She politely declined (as any good beggar might2 ) and left. I watched her walk away and began to hate. I hated her for putting me in such a predicatment (nevermind hers); for making me feel bad (nevermind how she feels). I mean, I was reading my Bible for goodness'3 sake. Would have been (or at least seemed) so much better if I'd been playing on my phone like everyone else around me.
As I pen this down 24hrs later (hey, if you cant get rid of a thought, you may as well analyse it) I wonder WWJD 4? Taken her by the hand and told her he loved her? Bought her a burger? Given her an endless supply of oil5? Not offered preserved vegetables, in any case.
It just seems
Shes the one thats homeless and
I have all the resources in the world
yet somehow
I feel just as helpless
as her
Do I really hate the homeless?
Or do I hate the hypocrite in me?
1Have you noticed they invariably end with 'God bless'? A clever (though unoriginal) guilt trip? How many Christian beggars actually are out there?
2 Oi! Beggars cant be choosers right?
3 yes, debateable
4The ever popular slogan from my Sunday School days What Would Jesus Do?
5. Ref 2 Kings 7
